Jonathan Miller, Jr. (Part 3)

After my water broke/was broken, I felt pretty "gushy" and don't think I moved from the bed any more. (Maybe once to use the restroom or something.) Every time I moved it felt like fluid would come out of me. An interesting fact that I didn't know is that even after your water breaks, you continue to make amniotic fluid, so there's no such thing as a "dry labor." Dr. Goggin said some women worry about that, but it's not possible. I hadn't even thought of that (I hadn't thought of lots of things it seemed!), so I wasn't worrying. Still good to know.

I had decided beforehand that I would prefer to labor as naturally as possible (even though I was being induced), so I wanted to try to do it without an epidural. As a soon-to-be pharmacist and pharmacist's wife, I am not against all drugs, but I thought that I would prefer to be a little more mobile after the delivery and I confess that needles (especially ones stuck into your epidural space!) can creep me out a bit. I think I also saw it as a bit of a challenge. I wanted to see if I could do it. All that being said, I knew it was best to keep an open mind and be flexible, because I'd never done this before and didn't know how it would feel! My "safety net" was Nubain, which is a type of opioid often used for pain in labor.

Post-puncture of my amniotic sac, it didn't take 30 minutes for my contractions to become much more noticeable. This is probably the point where I closed my eyes and hardly opened them until it was to see my sweet baby. As soon as I felt a couple of these contractions, I turned to Jon and said, "I want some drugs." So my wonderful nurse Kellie came and gave me half a dose of Nubain and it almost immediately made me relax and feel pretty sleepy. (I've never had anything more than ibuprofen, so this stuff was great!) I was happy it worked so well and thought it would be relatively easy to get through the rest of labor (little did I know that I was still 8+ hours away from being done!). The rest of the day is pretty much a blur. I would fall asleep between contractions and wake up to squeeze Jon's hand and breathe through another one. I remember telling him one time when he came close to coach me through another one that I didn't want to smell Cinnamon Roasted Almonds on his breath anymore.

I continued to get a half dose of Nubain every 30 minutes to an hour throughout the day, but it eventually lost its relaxing effect and wasn't helping as much as before. The most difficult thing was to relax through contractions, and my sweet husband was doing a great job, but finally I called for Kellie to come and coach me through them. I guess it's easier to do when you've been through it before. Jon said he was glad she could help because he couldn't bring himself to soothingly say things like "Okay, now exhale and push all of that tension away... Breathe, and let relaxation come over you." It felt like an intense yoga class.

A little before 4:30pm, I started feeling more pressure with each contraction, and Kellie checked me again and said I was almost fully dilated! I was so glad to hear it, because I was exhausted and my whole body was shivering and shaking - kind of like after you've done squats for 4 hours at the gym. (Not that I've ever actually done that, but it's what I imagine it would feel like.) She asked me if I wanted to try a few practice pushes, so I layed back and the nurses tried to teach me how to push. So many people had told me that it felt so good when they finally got to push. I did not feel the same way. It took me several tries to get the hang of it, and the first couple of pushing contractions, I projectile peed all over everything. (It's true that you don't care what people think of you at this point.)

Somewhere in this time period I remember saying I wasn't sure I could do it anymore (C-section, please?). Our birthing class instructor had told us that when you reach that point of feeling incapable, you're in transition and you're really close! That didn't necessarily comfort me in the moment, but at least I knew it was coming to an end. After 3 or 4 practice pushes, Dr. Goggin came in and they set everything up for delivery! That probably would have been neat to see everything (well, except for the very large fishook they use to put you back together), but my eyes were still closed at this point. Pushing was strange because it didn't feel like I was making any progress. I had to trust them when they would say that the baby was moving farther down. Dr. Goggin approached me after pushing for awhile and told me that he'd known beforehand but didn't want to worry me, and that he was going to have to do an episiotomy. This word seemed so terrible to me prior to that day, but I trusted him and told him to do whatever he needed to to get him out. I didn't feel the incision too much.

After about an hour of pushing, they told me they could see his head and that I was almost there! This was definitely the most uncomfortable part because the doctor had to reach in and help him come out. Eek! But as soon as his head was out the rest of him came very easily and then there was a sweet baby boy in front of me!!

Jonathan Miller Alligood, Jr. had made his entrance!

He hardly cried and just looked around at everybody like he was very curious. This is what my mom said I was like, so maybe he'll take after me. :) Dr. Goggin took his time cleaning him off and checking him out. It was very sweet, but I was ready to hold my baby! Jon cut the cord and then I finally got to hold my sweet darling. He was perfect and so handsome. :)

I wish I could say that our sweet cuddling eclipsed any remaining pain, but I definitely still felt all of my stitches which was bearable but pretty uncomfortable. The uterus massage afterwards is anything but a day at the spa. BUT, I did have a sweet baby boy and Jon and I were the happiest parents in the world. :)

Our first family photo!

In the nursery after his first bath